Can you help me with any tips or corrections for my first college paper?

by admin  
Filed under How to Attract Birds to Your Yard

***we had to write a journal on a place of great importance to us. We had to paint a picture with our words. We had to use great details any tips you have or corrections i can use to make it better thank you**
(ps im 16 my first college paper!)

Behind a white, bricked house is an acre of land, my back yard. A clear field of ankle high grass covered with leaves fallen from the yard’s surrounding trees.
An old rusted down shack stuffed with odds and ends needing storage stands her. Its collapsed tin roof and slanted posture gives it the appearance of careless owner.
Next to the shack stands the only tee in the yard. Like a hero this tree stands tall and strong. With only three bald, thin branches the tree provides little shade. Marching, as if they were soldiers preparing for war, a trail of ants crawls up the thick bark of the tree. Under this tree I an sit for hours just the ants and I. We share this tree in harmony. Almost a half mile away from the house you almost feel non existent back her. This is a place of sanctuary for the ants and I.
Around the tree, beneath my bare feet, I can feel the dry and prickly texture of summer grass. Every step is a test of faith for your feet. The sharp jabs and stabs of pebbles, rocks, and old screws on your feet is a reason for tears. Still the way the warm grass hugs your toes is a feeling only it can give.
The mesquite smell of the bark of the tree reminds you of hot summer nights and long afternoon barbecues at the park.When you inhale you can almost taste the smoky flavor of the bark. It might be this that attracts so many birds. Looking up in the cloud less sky, many birds soar above you. Their songs of joy and mating are your music.
A place like this can almost seem quite tedious to a person of technology and machinery but to me it’s a place of great importance.
- TICKTICKBOOM!!